I didn't shave. On purpose
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
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You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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