check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
