whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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