Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
