Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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