I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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