What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize