I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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