we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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