haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
