your parents love me but you hate me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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