Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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