She said her name was "party"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
