she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
