Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
