im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize