You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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