Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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