okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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