is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
