u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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