thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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