omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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