Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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