I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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