hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
