Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think my moral compass just broke
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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