some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
