i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
