That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
