Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
