I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
