thus making me awesome and them whores
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
