that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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