oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I love you.
Bad choice
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
