This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
