Screwed.edu
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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