note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
