everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
