ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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