went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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