there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
