Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
