Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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