I can tuck mytits in my pants
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
3pm strippers are depressing
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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