I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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