Where is the hickey?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
