Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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