I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
