Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
