He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
