His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
