Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
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Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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