brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
