I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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