I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
