They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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