I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
