OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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