I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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