YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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