in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
