I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
