well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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