Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
